Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Alberta Wars Episode IV: A New Fair Deal

A long time ago
in an economy far far away...


Episode IV
A New Fair Deal

Following the revenge of the separatists all of the pillars for Emperor Harper and his protege's new empire were in place. They had successfully directed the anger towards Ottawa and the vague conspiracy from the planet Krause. Their phone troopers with the help of the Manning Centre had grown into fully fledged Twitter storm troopers who in classic Star Wars style never seem to be able to hit anything while the growing rebel alliance annihilates them shot after shot. The time had finally come to begin shaping the beaten down western Dominion into Harper's new financial empire.

It had come to Harper's attention that the elder scholars of the Job Creator's "Calgary School" had prophesied of a great re-balancing of the work force back towards the "job creators".
Harper, in January of 2019 B.E. (Before Empire) informed the investor council of the prophecy. Despite the risks, they knew it had to be done.

Unfortunately and unexpectedly for the Empire the Health Star, along with new galactic trade wars blew up the poor planet of Krause, and now only gets a passing mention whenever a good off the cuff excuse is needed.
With Kenney's narratives nearing the point of complete dis-credibility a new narrative was needed.

Kenney, always working with what he knows, pushed ahead with the Fair Deal plan, moving the focus of the anger once again from the foreign funded environmentalists to the Dominion itself. The story being sold: Alberta needed a new fair deal, it was our only hope.

Kenney quickly arranged for some panels of confirmation bias, they got on their speeders and moved quickly fanning out across Alberta to provide legitimacy to the idea the Empire actually gave a shit. Once they returned the empire removed all wrong opinions from the results and then compiled a report with the rest.

"Not one dissenting voice!", Darth Kenney exclaimed.

Next Kenney handed the direction of the financial empire over to the regional corporate board of governors, featuring emperor Harper himself. They provided Kenney the response to the Health star crisis, though in reality - according to the empire - everything suggested was just an election platform promise and thus not actually a response at all.
Kenney wasn't worried, no one had ever accused him of consistency.

Albertans are going to get their new Fair Deal. Kenney is already pushing ahead on the clearly fabricated basis of the results he is choosing to respect. Of course its just a thin excuse for him to do what he was always going to do anyway. All of this has been the plan from day one folks, he needs this whole pandemic thing behind us so he can get on doing what he was parachuted in to do.

I've seen a lot of you from the Rebel Alliance saying Albertans need to fight and stay. No, they don't. I want to make it very clear what staying and fighting means: Alberta is going to be a have not province and from this point forward it is going to be increasingly difficult to survive here and the people that live here are going to be under constant threat of attack and change from their government. That is no way to live.

For those that do stay and fight, your sacrifice is appreciated. May the work force be with you.

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Richard Fantin is a self-taught software developer who has mostly throughout his career focused on financial applications and high frequency trading. He currently works for CenturyLink

Nazayh Zanidean is a Project Coordinator for a mid-sized construction contractor in Calgary, Alberta. He enjoys writing as a hobby on topics that include foreign policy, international human rights, security and systemic media bias.

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